February 18, 2014
-
The worst loss of all
My heart is heavier than I could ever imagine. I never thought it could hurt so much. Tonight I lost my mom. It shouldn’t have happened. It doesn’t make any sense. I thought writing it here would help, but I waver between being numb to crying so hard I cant breathe. I don’t understand, I just saw her hours earlier and she was fine. I thought she was getting stronger, I was resolved she would make a full recovery. She looked good, she ate she spoke, we talked. And then she’s gone. It hurts that everyone else was called back to the hospital and I am here at home without my family. Tomorrow I will be with them, but it still won’t make sense. I know we lose loved ones every day, it’s a part of life. But this isn’t the life we envisioned for her. She deserved so much more. I can only hope she knows how much I love her and hope much she means to me and how much I will miss her. If I could take years off my life to bring her back I would. Because no one was better, no one had a better heart, no one gave more.
I love you mommy I hope you know that, I just don’t know how to not have you in my life anymore.
Comments (12)
Oh, Sweetness!
I am so sorry to hear this! 
Your Mom knows how much you love her and how much she means to you!
If you need me for anything, please e-mail me. And I can give you my phone # if you want to talk.
My Mom died 3 years ago this May. So I understand a little of what you are feeling right now.
You are in my thoughts…reaching out to you will love and hugs.
(((HUGS)))
I commented over on WordPress, so here on Xanga I will just say: You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You may not know me, but I am terribly sorry for your loss. You and your mom are deep in my prayers today.
I have left a comment on your WP blog also.
All of us who have lost our parents, know the agony of grief, regardless of how old you are, and how old you have become over the years. I am in my seventies, and I still miss my parents. Mothers have such an umbilical cord connection with us. I know the grief you are going through. I hope your sorrow is easier to bear, knowing that there are others who have suffered this pain too. Her memories will always be with you dear heart. Love and hugs.
You have all of my compassion, friend
Michel
My gracious you’ve had a rough time of late…I am so sorry about your mother, I lost my father and oldest son to cancer, both were long and drawn out, it was devastating to say the least but we were prepared, or as prepared as you can get considering. I can’t imagine losing someone so dear so suddenly. I also lost my beloved pet last June, Tish was 16 and was terribly sick as a pup and I did like you – bottle fed her and kept her by my side for all those years…this is terrible to say but I miss her more than anyone. Blessings for you and your family
Very sorry for your lost. I sure remember losing my dad when I was only 13 years old.
hugs
frank
How are you doing?
I’m just checking back and to leave you some more (((HUGS)))
*HUGS*
Just letting you know I’m still thinking of you and praying for you.
HUGS!!!
@adamswomanback @HUMOR_ME_NOW thank you for the love and support
*hugs* and more *hugs*