Month: August 2013

  • Just a quickie…

    As usual life has a way of getting in the way.  Been busy with work and beading.  My sister’s company in the city asked me to host a small party and custom made several bracelets.  It was a good showing and they have asked me to come back in November to plan out Christmas gifts.  Still in physical therapy and it looks like I’ll be going back to the ortho for a follow up as I’m not getting better.  I make small improvements then fall back, its frustrating.

    I have tried writing to get through all this but I guess it’s put up a big block for me and making it difficult to even fill one coherent sentence with how Ive been feeling.  But other than that I guess it’s all good.  Work is well work and home life is quiet.  So I guess I shouldn’t complain.  But I think it’s time I’ve made a appt to sit down with the big dogs upstairs and demand a real raise.  I can’t keep living so tightly and freaking out whenever something comes up.  Like now, my 16 year old cat, who I bottle raised since 2 weeks old, hurt her leg.  I need to get her to the vet but I can’t afford the bill.  Such a fucked up situation.  This is shit I thought I would deal with in my 20′s, but here I am 41 living hand to mouth.  Doesn’t help when the husband is barely working so he can’t contribute and I’m left to bear it all.  

    I’m gonna keep this short because I think if I stay it’ll become a bitch fest…lol.  

  • Taking a piece of me…

     

    It began with an innocent request

    Just a taste was all he wanted

    Something to remember me by

    To hold him over for a time

    Yet how could I know what would happen to me

    In giving you a small part of me

    Now I wait and ache for just a word from you

    Anything to fill the void your presence left behind

    So here I wait

    Passively until you call for me

    To take even more of me

    Though I know I should turn and go

    For fear of losing all of me

    I cannot will myself to leave 

    Until you’ve taken me

  • You….

     

    I can feel myself trembling, anticipating his touch.

    Tensing just before our skin connects

    The firm intentions behind each motion

    It’s the tenderness and care that puts me at ease

    The control that he takes chases away the fears

    The darkness, and the memories that threaten to take over

    But your touch perseveres

    Molding me

    Creating

    Unmaking

    Yet remaking

    Not till I hear you voice bringing me back

    Commanding

    Demanding

    Leaving nothing left in me to deny what you ask of me

     

     

  • My favorite photo so far….

     

    As some of you know I received my Nikon D5100 for Christmas and have been slowly taking photos.  Back in June I took a photography class that took us to a sanctuary to photograph injured raptors that would never be capable of returning to the wild.  Out of all the birds the great horned owl was by far my favorite.  She was huge!!!  And she looked at each and every one of us.  You knew you were standing in the presence of royalty, and she held herself as such.  The trust she had with her handler was beautiful.  But I felt beyond privileged that this beautiful majestic bird allowed us to take her photo over and over again.  Out of the hundreds of photos I took this one by far was my favorite.  I was so proud of the job I did, but I must admit, the lens I had borrowed from the studio really made me look like a pro…lol.   I hope to upload more, it’s been a little tough as I’ve been shooting in raw file and it’s such a big file that it doesn’t always download to each format easily.  But I do have more, even from the sea turtle release I went to last weekend in the Hamptons.  I will do my best to share some more.

     

  • Makings of a possibly short story?

    She tried to stop his hands as they pushed up her loose track pants, “You really don’t have to work on my thighs today,” she said as she turned to sit up on the table. 

    But it was too late, his hands had felt the welts before he’d even seen them, “What is this.” he asked through clenched teeth. “ Who did this to you?” 

    Kit twisted around, her eyes cast down. “ It’s not what you think, really.”

    “Not what I think!?” he said as he glanced back down at her now covered leg.  He pushed the material back up and gently caressed the softening pink welts that left a striped pattern across the back of her thigh.  “Who did this to you Kit?  Don’t make me ask again.”

    He went to check her other leg and sure enough he growled under his breath when he saw the same healing pink welts marring her other leg. 

    Kit sighed and forced herself into a sitting position.  “Really Eric it’s not what you think, it’s not like that at all.” 

    She swung her legs over the table attempting to step off when he stopped her by standing in front of her, positioning himself between her legs.  His hands on her shoulders, he took a deep breath. “Look I’m not going to do anything, but if you need help I will do whatever I can.” 

    “Eric really, I’m okay.  Nothing happened that I did not allow.”

    “ALLOW?!”  he questioned, “Why would you allow anyone to abuse you like this?”

    “It’s not abuse Eric if you ask for it.”  Kit was beginning to feel embarrassed now, she needed to get out, she had forgotten about the welts and had just been looking forward to a therapeutic massage to work out all the kinks of a very long and hard week.  She shook her head to herself, great now I’m going to have to find a new masseuse.

    She tried to stand up but Eric stood in her way, and the unmoving pressure from his hands on her shoulders told her he wasn’t moving anytime soon. 

    Several painful seconds went by when Eric finally looked down and met her eyes, “Look I’m no one to judge, I don’t understand, but I still wont judge.  Let’s finish your session, I mean you’ve already paid for it, might as well get the most out of your money ok?”  He looked at Kit with a strained smile.

    “Okay,” she gave Eric an encouraging smile, Kit turned back around to lay on the table. 

    Still unsure of what to say or what to do, Eric decided to pick up where he left off.  Slowly rolling her track pants up to just below her buttocks, he softly caressed her raised welts, tracing them with his finger tips.  He was boggled as to why she would let someone hit her so hard that they would leave such welts, really couldn’t be comprehended.  He grabbed the jar of lotion and started top gently run it into her skin.  Starting with her calves he started to rub out the tight muscles that had formed in them.  He continued his ministrations, but could not take his eyes off her thighs.  The pink welts which must have been at one point an angry red seemed to highlight the soft caramel color of her tanned skin.  As he switched to the other calf he became fascinated at how and why she had them, and he felt a flicker of anger and yes even jealousy over the one who put them on her.

    Eric continued with his massage running his hand up the back of Kit’s knee to her thigh, circling from the inner thigh and around making slow gently circles as he rubbed in more lotion and marveled at the feel of her raised skin.  The low moan that came from Kit startled him back to reality.

    “Did I hurt you?  Was that too hard?”  he asked anxiously.

    “No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to startle you, it actually felt good.  Would you mind pressing in a little harder like you normally do?”

    “Are you sure?”

    Kit laughed, “Yes Eric, I know you wont hurt me, it’s okay.”

    Eric’s heart picked up a bit as she said his name, but shook his head once more to get his head back to the task at hand.  For the next 20 minutes he finished up a deep massage on both her thighs, doing his best to think of anything and everything but the obvious pink elephant in the room. 

    Kit sat up and stretched her arms over her head, “Thank you so much Eric, I really needed that today.”

    “Sure Kit, if you have any problems you know how to reach me.  Do you need to make another appointment?”

    Kit thought for a moment, wondering if now her little secret was out should she continue with Eric.  He was the best therapeutic masseuse in the area, and he had come highly recommended.  Not to mention he was so damn cute.

    “Sure, 2 weeks same time?

    “Same place,” he answered as he walked her out.

    He watched Kit enter her car and found himself still standing in the doorway long after she had driven off. 

     

    “Earth to Eric”  a familiar voice called out to him.

    “Oh hey Dave, what’s up?”

    “Nothing, you okay?”  Dave looked at his coworker with concern.

    “Yeah I’m fine, just thinking?’

    “About?” Dave pushed.

    “About why some people would actually allow themselves to be marked or endure something painful?”  Eric blurted out.  He never meant to mention what he had seen on Kit’s body, nor was he sure about how he was feeling about it.  He felt intrigued, and in all honesty he was a bit turned on at the thought of the marks on her body.

    “Oh so you heard about that new underground club in the city?”

    “What club?”  Eric turned away from the door to face his friend.

    “There’s a new kink club that I heard some people talking about.”

    “Kink club?”  Eric looked at Dave confused.

    “Yeah you know, like S & M, whips and chains, bondage, that sort of thing.”

    Eric looked at his friend amused that he would even know such a place existed, “And what would you know about a place like that?”

    Dave laughed and slapped Eric on the shoulder, “Because scantily clad women in chains is hot.”

    At that Dave walked away leaving Eric to marinate on the idea and visions of depravity to ponder, and he felt a stirring in his belly.

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